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Present or Prison

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     June is always a busy month for me, so busy I am only now getting around to telling this story. I was consumed with finishing up spring semester: bombarded with papers, final critiques for painting, and coaching several new clients. Both my kids were also finishing up their semesters and my husband continues to run his various businesses from home. 

     Early one morning I walked to Duane Reade, with my head in the clouds, to buy floor cleaner and Windex. Yes, I admit, my apartment had been collecting dust while I ran around studying, painting, and coaching. I was far from being in the present moment, something I usually make an effort to practice. I had mentally projected myself somewhere into the immediate future as I fretted over the outcome of multiple hypothetical situations. I’m an old hand when it comes to imagination abuse, and it can be second nature to slip back into old habits during times of stress. Brain frazzle aside, I found the cleaning supplies I needed and walked home. When I returned to the lobby of my building, I glanced down at the bottles I clutched firmly in each hand and thought: hmmmm, why didn’t the drug store give me a bag for this stuff? OMG! I hadn't paid. I had just waltzed right out of the store carrying the merchandise! No alarms went off, no security guards had stopped me, no one had noticed my thievery but me! Thankfully, this allowed me to casually stroll back through the automatic doors and up to the cashier with no one the wiser.

     I was running on autopilot while my brain ran amuck through possible future scenarios. It felt like when you are driving your car on mental autopilot and realize you missed your turn ten minutes ago. My sub conscious is apparently a kleptomaniac. I better reread The Power of Now before I land myself in jail!

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